he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
All is not lost. The bondage chair came with repair seals and glue. It's like the knewwwwwww this would happen.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
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