my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
