More tranny stories later!
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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