I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
The Supreme Court upheld health insurance. If that's not an excuse to get hospital drunk, I don't know what is.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
