Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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