Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
He came in asked for the bathroom and came out 10 minutes later dripping wet took his redbull and left.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
Its hard to hear the music in here over his nasal whistle. And his breath smells like old milk. I think I need more vodka, and he better be buying. You owe me.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Most of my life can be described like an HBO prison drama.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you know what? fuck you, fuck your nana, and ESPECIALLY FUCK THE BLACKHAWKS.
Randomize
