This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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