Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
You were making out with a freshman and said you wanted to back to his place. Then when you got to the door to leave you said "never mind." He sad it wasn't fair and you got all serious and told him "welcome to the real world kid."
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I finished OITNB and broke it off with my fuck buddy in the same day. It's going to be a rough week
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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