So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
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