People with herpes should wear stickers.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Well my sober pact lasted almost an hour. Then I did four shots. But in other news, one of those shots I took with a midget. So like I couldn't turn that shit down.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
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