I must be too annoying 4 u.
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I continue to impress myself. Also I'm probably pregnant
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
