Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
Randomize
