is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
Gregs sitting in the living room in his underwear hitting the bong watching a rob schneider movie. His lack of fuck giving is inspirational
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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