so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
The bar posted my picture because my name changes with each new fake i get. i'm getting a wig.
I think I may have appendicitis, but the house is like two blocks from the hospital so I'm just gonna go and drink anyway.
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
That awkward moment when you are on your way to ICU and the only sympathy gift you can think of is beer and whiskey
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Randomize
