But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I don't know why, but whenever I shave my balls I feel more aerodynamic.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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