why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
