He kissed a someone with a penis
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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