I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
that is very illegal...i love you.
I'm naked, eating straight Nutella, and listening to "Make you feel my love" on repeat. So no. He didn't ask me out.
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