It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
You were pouring Patron into the window of the squad car trying to get the police dog to drink it
So thats why that cop beat my ass?
Probably
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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