I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Please tell me you aren't concussed from dancing on the stripper pole
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
