You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
try to milk me bitch
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