you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
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