Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
Party bus got out of hand. Some guy pissed himself. Later, he couldn't find his house keys, so he kicked the back door in.
Randomize
