I want to have your abortion
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
I put on a tiger onsie to initiate sex... It worked
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
