worst night to have a conscience
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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