we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
This random guy just introduced himself then said "So, I am staying at my friends place and he has a 4 year old, so we should probably go back to your house." WTF kind of vibes do I give off?
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
the arrest was probably divine intervention, cause i think we were heading to an ill-advised threesome.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
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