Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize