Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
