Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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