Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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