I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
