these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
who says I'm not relevant to the kids today? Just had snapchat sex, blows the roof off aim cyber sex
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Randomize
