I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
ever had your bank call you to verify the 4 seperate bar transactions from the night before? I have
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Walk of Shame time yet?
Dude she's 6"2, blonde and on the cheerleading team. I look like Seth Rogen's fatter, unfunny brother. What shame am I supposed to be feeling?
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I saw someone get arrested while I was moving out...this has to be a good sign.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
After tacos, we're chasing women.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
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