Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
I hate it when the guy who runs the chicken and waffles truck is convinced that I run a cult.
that is the opposite of a normal text message.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
