what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just bought 4 bottles of wine in sweats at 530 on a monday night. Fuck law school
Help. All alone. Room is. Changing colors. Dance party 2010, but without dancing.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Randomize
