Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I need an honest answer, no judgements. Would it make me a bad person if I fucked the other twin?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
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