That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Julian told me all the fish in his pond died and he didn't know when or how. I didn't have the heart to tell him he drunkenly peed in the pond on Saturday as everyone cheered him on.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
He initiated the conversation by sending me a picture of his penis at 4 am
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize
