I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just saw 4 of my students at Denny's at 4am on a Tuesday. We all pretended not to see each other, as we are all clearly tipsy and/or stoned. Class is in less than 4 hours. Either i'm getting too old for this shit or they're starting on the road to crazy-town much earlier these days.
Randomize
