i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
what is the aproppriate waiting time between having sex and playing super Mario brothers
6 min
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
College: when you wake up drunk without pants and wearing a Cosby sweater
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
