hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
We couldn't find the paddle I had gotten so he just spanked with my tennis raquet
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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