Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
i woke up with someone drivers licenses in my wallet this am...he said i don't have a business card so just take my drivers license
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I could teach a class on "expressing your thanks through photos taken of yourself in the shower"
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Randomize
