If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
PS: I just woke up from my shower
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
