News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
dream priorities were more important than voting today. don't tell me you wouldn't keep going back to sleep to find out who would win a fight between oprah and godzilla
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
That was the second worst thing to happen to my asshole.
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
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