I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
I asked the subway guy how many cookies he thought I could smuggle into the bar. He said it looked like a 6 packer. he was correct
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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