Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
I choose my mates solely based on size and ability. No cuddles. No sleep overs. Definitely no repeats.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Randomize
