your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Randomize
