I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
New rule during sex: if it causes you to take your rings off, don't do it.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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