Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
