Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
