it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
check it out our google latitudes are spooning
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
if you think for one second that i'm not using my mittens as hand puppets at the bar tonight then u dont know me at all!
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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