why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
If im still in the bathroom puking when the sirens go off please distract the cops.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
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