i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
You will receive a large, large reward, worth much more than the actual phone you are holding, paid not only in cash but in sexual favors, if you return this phone! Please respond if you're interested in cash/sex/or just being a good person. Thanks and hope to hear from you soon!
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
And with the bitter taste of failure in my mouth, i am off to pub to drown it in tequila and 19 year olds, so in the morning i can add pregnancy and stds to my list of problems.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
