God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
