yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Tequila me may have very bluntly told him that I wanted to touch his abs.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Damn victory sex feels great
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
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