She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
I feel like I should pray to the god of Febreze, because it is like it washes away the smell of all my sins from the bed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
Randomize
