I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
My dad just came home, said hi to mom and me in the kitchen, and then said "I'm gonna go inject my blood with iguana saliva".
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
learned the hard way that breakfast jack daniels is a lot stronger than lunch or dinner jack daniels.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
