Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
You left a trail of sequins from your dress incase we got lost
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Last night I was the DD and was trying to drop off some chick I didn't know at her place. The closest thing to an address I got was "where the goldfish go."
Randomize
