yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
