Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
