after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
You called his parrot a seagull, a pigeon and a rat with wings, and told it to go eat Cheetos out of a dumpster.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
