So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
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