remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
He brought a girl home so fat he called me before they got home to unlock the right side of the French doors
Fuck he won the bet
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
